So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize
