All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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