He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
