somebody snuck up and got me drunk
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I need moral support for this bender
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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