Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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