ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
