Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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