Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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