I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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