it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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