Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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