I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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