..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
