Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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