You made me cry and you don't even care
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
