never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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