i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I wish I only lived at night.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize