Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
