the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
