Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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