i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
