Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
