if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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