I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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