So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
