Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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