That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
