Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize