thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
