we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
high people should be assigned attendants
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
you had me at cake vodka
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
