Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize