at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
