i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
