Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
