Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
