stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'm always down for nudity.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize