You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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