Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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