I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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