I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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