i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
dude i'm inner monologue high
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
