Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
