worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
