I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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