even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize