Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
