I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
