I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
