shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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