Porn is love you can see.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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