she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
