It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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