It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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