So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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