I forgot how hot balto sounded
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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