I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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