I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
