That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
